Hullo! Some of you might be Official Fuck Your Feelings Shirt familiar with my wall of text from the main 90DF sub. For some reason, my weekly pseudo-recap got deleted today, without explanation, and folks recommended that I try posting here. So without further ado. My recaps often crash land in fanfiction; this one is going to orbit reality like a lost moon. Will we ever connect? I don’t know. Will we ever understand what 90DF cast members do all day that inhibits any type of advanced preparation for nuptials? I don’t know. Muriel and Anna. What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smartphone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
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“No, ma’am. We’ve had several reports that Official Fuck Your Feelings Shirt suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself and is already starting to yawn. Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.” The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
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What about Muriel surrendered himself to Official Fuck Your Feelings Shirt authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!” “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
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