Pretty I Try To Be A Nice Person But Sometimes My Mouth Doesn’t Want To Cooperate Shirt

I pretend to have cancer to get matches on Pretty I Try To Be A Nice Person But Sometimes My Mouth Doesn’t Want To Cooperate Shirt Tinder. I’m not going to sit here and apologize to you for being a piece of shit. Let’s be real. You don’t want me to apologize. You want me to change the behavior. Saying ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean squat if I just keep on doing whatever it was that you found objectionable. So I’m not going to pretend to be sorry. I’m an honest guy. Well, except for the whole cancer thing. But that’s just a function of my desperation for pussy overriding my principles.

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Oh, you have some advice for Pretty I Try To Be A Nice Person But Sometimes My Mouth Doesn’t Want To Cooperate Shirt me? Because you’re so special? Because you can just be yourself and some woman, somewhere, will deign to allow you to moisten your dick? Well, newsflash: you are special. You hit the jackpot in the genetic lottery. Okay, maybe you’re not attractive. But you’re confident. You’re funny, in that self-deprecating way. You have money. You’re a good listener. Yeah, I don’t have any of that. You know what gets you laid when you’re a miserable, ugly, mean sack of shit? Pity. Pity gets you laid. Hence the fake cancer. What, you think I don’t deserve pussy? You’re right. I don’t. But I’m human, and therefore, a mere puppet to my id.

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Here’s a tip: you have to Pretty I Try To Be A Nice Person But Sometimes My Mouth Doesn’t Want To Cooperate Shirt finesse the reveal. You can’t just be “Joe, 28, I have cancer, 9 miles away.” But it does have to be somewhere in your bio, tactfully sandwiched between your fave IPA and an inspiring quote about dogs. It has to be one of the first things she learns about you. Otherwise, she won’t bite. The girl was fucking beautiful, man. We matched on a Thursday. At first I assumed she was a bot. Gorgeous face, nice teeth, big tits. My algorithmically engineered Marilyn Monroe. But she responded to my messages with lines that, if generic, passed the sniff test. I changed my mind: not a bot, definitely a catfish. Still, I had to meet her.

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