So this happened last night and I’m not sure how this is going to Nice 5 Things You Should Know About Me I Have Tattoos And Love Dogs Shirt end. I’d like to begin by stating I am not a perv. That being said, I may have done something pervy and I now hate myself. This fuck up is innocent enough, I think, but the implications are terrible. I’ll let you be the judge. So yesterday my lovely, beautiful, 35-year-old wife went to her grandmother’s house to help clean out her old room. She lived with her in her high school years because her mother moved away and she didn’t want to change schools, so she stayed. Her room at grandmas has gone pretty much untouched since she moved in with me, 16 years ago.
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Anyways, she got home late last night and was very excited to show me some of Nice 5 Things You Should Know About Me I Have Tattoos And Love Dogs Shirt her treasures for decades past that she recovered from her childhood bedroom. Unfortunately, her show-and-tell session coincided with a playoff game so she did not have my undivided attention (even though the Titans clearly had it in the bag, you have to watch until the end just in case). an article she wrote that was published in a local newspaper (wow babe, you coulda been a journalist… FUMBLE!) and some other stuff. Then she breaks out a dusty photo album from the good old days of disposable cameras.
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I got a detailed history of every picture of Nice 5 Things You Should Know About Me I Have Tattoos And Love Dogs Shirt her, her friends, her siblings, people she doesn’t even remember, places that no longer exist… I was not paying attention. I’ll admit that. She flipped through page after page as she sat beside me on the couch and I glanced at the pictures and gave my obligatory “that’s nice” or “wow, look at that” response. Everything was going peachy. Until she flipped the page and said “this is a picture of me at the beach” and I glanced. And it was her in a bikini. Her, my wife, in a bikini. I said “daaaaaamn”. And looked back at the TV. Silence from her. What did I do? I risk a peek at her face; she is shocked. I have obviously grown a grotesque second head on my shoulder because the look on her face could not be the result of anything less.
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