For as long as I can remember, my father has been irrationally afraid of Pretty Owl At Times I Think To Myself Shirt mimes. I’ve seen him get reduced to a sweating, quivering mess at the mere sight of them. No-one knew why this was as he would always angrily brush it off whenever he was questioned about it and pretend that they didn’t affect him at all. While this had become a running joke in the family, I was always curious about the reason behind this odd little quirk of his. Well, this Christmas I finally got him to spill the beans after filling his stomach with copious amounts of cake and wine, and I took his story down, almost word for word, on my phone. It really is something, I can tell you that
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Do you really want to Pretty Owl At Times I Think To Myself Shirt post this on the internet? It sounds extremely unbelievable, so don’t be surprised if they accuse you of making this all up, okay? Jeez, where do I even start? So, you know that I came to this country back in the early 90s, right? It was a couple of years before I met and married your mother. Times were tough for someone like me back then, I had to work two jobs just to put food on the table and have a roof over my head. Even then, all I could afford was the rattiest apartment in this decrepit old building in a crime-infested shithole of a neighborhood. Like, it was so bad that you couldn’t get a good night’s sleep without hearing at least one gunshot each night. Just a moldy, crumbling place to live in.
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Now my second job was basically a Pretty Owl At Times I Think To Myself Shirt weekend thing where I worked as a bartender at the local strip club. Heh, it was called The Rear End, fucking hilarious. It was trashy, and not something I’m particularly proud of, but working at a titty club sure beats sleeping on the streets, I can tell you that. What’s that? Yes, your mother knows, we just don’t talk about that part of my life. Don’t look at me like that, those women were some of the bravest, most honorable people I’ve ever known. Anyway, my job meant that I would come back to my apartment late, I mean 2 or 3 AM late. I need you to understand how late it would usually get those nights, so you can truly appreciate just how bizarre what I saw in the elevator that day was.
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