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I thought nothing of Pretty I May Not Be Rich & Famous But I’m A Breast Cancer Survivor Priceless Shirt it when I first visited that Chinese restaurant with my family. I truly believed it was going to be a regular day for me; with no grand battles, epic romances or strange occurrences to pollute my otherwise regular days of lazing about in my underwear. Boy, was I mistaken (though I was not in my underwear)

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BUT WAIT! It was during my intimate time with the Pretty I May Not Be Rich & Famous But I’m A Breast Cancer Survivor Priceless Shirt soap that I heard it – a slight rumbling and creaking coming from the empty stall behind me. With a slight turn of my head (as I had forgotten that I could have just looked in the mirror) I saw the toilet shaking; a slight reverberation at first, which grew into a cacophony of rattling and vibration, the likes of which no bathroom had ever before seen… (except, perhaps, the one in Taco Bell) and I found myself horrified to be alone when it violently exploded, sending porcelain shrapnel to abound, water spraying throughout the room, and a local giant squid sitting in its place.

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“Inkfeet!” I called out, surprised to Pretty I May Not Be Rich & Famous But I’m A Breast Cancer Survivor Priceless Shirt see my old ocean companion sitting in my 23rd favorite restaurant. “Cue!” he burbled back, his… facial…features?…twisting into a form of happiness and excitement… Maybe… You can never be too sure with squids. I’m so happy and ALSO excited to see you!” he exclaimed. (Note to self: Remove that last thought so I don’t look dumb). I’m happy to see you too, old friend, but it’s strange to find you here exploding toilets in a restaurant. I don’t suppose there’s any particular reason for it, is there?”

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