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It’s been a Nice Labrador Retriever I Love Mom Tattoos Shirt while since I posted, but don’t worry, I’ve been diligently stalking you all. And holy shit you guys had some insane goddamned holiday stories. So I have to go on a tangent for a moment. You may remember that last December my darling FH got me a puppy for my birthday that I had specifically told him several times in several conversations over several weeks NOT to do. But of course, I loved her to bits anyway, because puppy. More importantly, beagle puppy (username checks out). Unfortunately, after 6 months, I could not get the pup to stop shitting in the house. Six. Months. What stupidass FH had failed to hear coming out of my noise hole was 1) I had an 8-month-old baby who was trying to crawl (later walk) and now couldn’t be set loose, 2) when he got the puppy

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I was the only one working (he’d been laid off and was waiting in for CDL classes to start), 3) we live in Nice Labrador Retriever I Love Mom Tattoos Shirt the country on a very busy road with nowhere to walk the dog, and no fence in which she could play (beagles NEED fences and are high energy), and 4) I didn’t want a puppy. Period. She doesn’t mean that she just doesn’t want to ask you for something big,” Timeshare assured him. “Women are always testing their men. We can’t ever just come out and say what we want.” Bullshit, bro. She also pushed to get me a poodle puppy instead, because that’s what she likes. Maybe she thought if I had another beagle to love/obsess over I’d be more willing to let LO go on long visits to her house? I have my suspicions. FH was absolutely no help in training the puppy. I’d come home and have pee and shit all over the house, destroyed toys, carpet, shoes, everything.

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And his completely shocked Nice Labrador Retriever I Love Mom Tattoos Shirt  “when did she do that?” WHEN YOU WEREN’T FUCKING WATCHING HER, YOU FAT SHIT. I was losing my mind. Literally. Then he finished school and started working. And it got even worse. I had this adorable, sweet little puppy. She and LO adored each other and would play so nicely, but I couldn’t get her trained. A tired puppy is a good puppy, and I couldn’t get her tired. What dummkopf FH had failed to take into account was when we previously had 2 dogs, we had a large fenced in yard, an entire neighborhood with sidewalks (we walked 3.5 miles every day), and my beagle (my true love and perfect baby boy) was almost 10 years old. Sure, he was noisy and obnoxious, but he wasn’t shitting in the house. I also didn’t have a baby to take care of when I had the two dogs. All this mom stuff was new, I didn’t have the time and energy for a puppy, too. YOU MORON.

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