About three years ago I was a science reporter on board the Pretty Jesus Word Bird Shirt North Atlantic research vessel, Baseline Explorer. These submersibles weigh in at about eight tonnes, rigged with state-of-the-art scientific equipment, massive search beams mounted just forward of the acrylic bubble, they’re ultra-maneuverable even at extreme depths, you can spin them three-sixty degrees on a dime
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I’ve played untold levels of Pretty Jesus Word Bird Shirt Call of Duty with him and take it from an old-school gamer like me, this guy is crazy good, and what’s even crazier, he’s fifty-eight years old with six grandchildren. Percy was a great guy. But after that voyage, my first, his hundred and third, he was never that same guy again. The submersibles are miracles of engineering, they can withstand up to twenty-five EAs (Earth Atmospheres), which basically means twenty-five times the pressure at surface level. That’s the equivalent of an ant moving around with twelve jumbo jets parked right on top of it.
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My publishers wanted a Pretty Jesus Word Bird Shirt video essay of a deep-sea dive in one of the subs, which made sense seeing as my job was to report on all the functions of a scientific research vessel, but we were going down close to the sub’s limits, almost a thousand meters, and suddenly the whole thing was very daunting. But Percy quickly put me at my ease, he’d been down over a hundred times, and in his opinion, it was safer than driving to the neighborhood liquor store.
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