December 11th- The Top Hippie Fuck I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt annual Hudson River Booze and Boobs Cruise was something of a local institution, a three-hour boat ride from the port of Albany to the city of Troy and back again. The cruise offered a buffet, a bar, and more exotic dancers than you could shake a money clip at. Ostensibly this low-grade bacchanalia was a way for local entrepreneur Edward Fingle to raise money for the Tri-city IBS Treatment Society or T.I.T.S. for short. It was the kind of event that brought greasy ‘philanthropists’ from all across the tri-city area. It was like his Christmas, Christmas with herpes.
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The MS Better Knot had always been the Top Hippie Fuck I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt ship of choice for Goodtime Eddie’s oceanic adventures. As you can imagine, after each of these cruises there was public outrage, municipal embarrassment, and condoms washing up on shore for weeks. The forces of decency would rally and vow to put an end to the Hudson River Booze and Boobs Cruise, but no one really thought the party would ever stop.
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But when the party finally did stop, it stopped forever. The Top Hippie Fuck I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt smallest of the seven bouncers on duty, a pair of guys named Adam and Phil, helped me to my feet. They ushered me over to a chair at an empty table and got me a glass of water. Cousin Roy’s fifteen-minute ‘My Humps’ dance remix was throbbing from the speakers. No wonder no one had heard the nightmare going on upstairs. “Aren’t you Roy’s brother?” Adam asked, “What happened. It was thirty degrees, just cold enough to make me feel like I might either sober up or pass out. The party raged on beneath me. And yes I do mean rage.
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